The Lives They Leave Behind
by Ande883
Summary: A short story about Nick dealing with the loss of a friend and the terrible way she left the world. Simply a way for me to get a very important message out especially because of recent events and how they affected me more than I thought they would.


**A/N: Hello again. This is not the story that you have probably been waiting for. This is just a one-shot that was not planned at all. I have been dealing with loss recently, and I find that this is a good way to let some of my feelings out. This is also going to turn into a bit of a PSA, but I think it's good for everyone to hear.**

 **Try to enjoy it. It'll be depressing (maybe).**

* * *

As the day said a final closing with a beautiful sunset filled with brilliant and vibrant hues of orange, yellow, and pink, Nick sat on the back porch of the Hopps farmhouse all alone. He looked to the sunset, which was just as amazing as Judy said it would be, wondering how something so breathtaking could show itself when the day had taken such a terrible turn. Why did something that would bring happy feelings feel the need to reveal itself to Nick when he was feeling so down?

No, he wasn't down. He was confused about what he'd found out earlier in the day.

He was angry about what had taken place back in the city.

He was on the verge of tears, thinking about what had just been lost from the world. Someone so innocent, so caring, and so happy; gone from this world without even the slightest hint as to why.

They always said suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Nick leaned on the railing and let out a long and pain-filled sigh. It was just a few hours ago that Nick received the call saying that she was gone, but it seemed like an eternity. Time seemed to slow to a crawl after he heard those words, and it was like the universe itself was mocking Nick, forcing him to wallow in the pain he was feeling deep inside himself.

She had done something that in Nick's eyes was unforgivable. It didn't fix anything for her loved ones, and it made things even worse for someone who hadn't seen her in several years.

But what baffled Nick the most was that she was the most pleasant vixen to be around, and someone that Nick really enjoyed the company of back in his high-school years. She was really his only true friend back then, and she meant everything to him. Maybe he _should_ have tried to talk to her more after graduation like he promised.

 _It was all your fault, you dumb fox! She needed her best friend in a grave time of need, and you abandoned her! It's your fault that she's gone!_

Nick shook his head trying to rid his mind of such thoughts. There was no way that _he_ was the cause for her to do such a thing. It just wasn't possible! No way! And he wasn't going to let himself think like that, either. He remembered her smile and the way that she lit up a room every time she walked inside. He remembered how she had the ability to make any situation better than it seemed. She always said one thing to Nick whenever he felt down: "You're strong, Nick. You have the strength to make it through this, and don't let anyone tell you different."

He also remembered how that smile always seemed to be hiding something. Nick had tried on many occasions to find out what was bothering her, but she never wanted to talk about it. It angered her, and Nick hated to see her angry. He wouldn't push it on her because he only wanted his friend to be happy. But she _wasn't_ happy deep down, and Nick knew that.

It wasn't until a few weeks before graduation that he finally got her to spill everything that she was feeling. It was a memory that would be forever engraved into his mind, and he remembered it like it happened yesterday.

* * *

 _Nick walked down the long hallway all alone. The corridor was completely empty, and the dull patter of his feet hitting the linoleum echoed in the emptiness. He was on his way home for the day, having finished his work study assignment. This was how it went every day. The school day would finish at three o'clock and he would empty recycling bins in each of the classrooms until about 4:30 or so, then he would leave for home._

 _It was always quiet when he left, but not today._

 _It started out softly, but with each passing step, the sound grew louder. At first, Nick regarded it as nothing, but he soon found something familiar about it, something that was strangely unnerving. As he approached the suspected source of the sound, he realized what it was._

 _It was Mali, and she was sobbing uncontrollably._

 _Nick walked over to the room with its door slightly propped open where he heard the cries coming from. Nick opened the door a little and stuck his head through the opening. He saw the figure of a vixen, sitting on the floor, letting all of her emotions spill out of her like a dam which had just burst. The sight of his best, and possibly only friend in pain like this caused his own eyes to water. Nick opened the door the rest of the way and slowly let himself in. He approached the distressed vixen with care and knelt down a few feet away from her. She hadn't heard him enter._

" _Mali?" Nick whispered. The quiet sound of Nick's voice was enough to startle the fox, and she turned around to face Nick. The sight that found Nick's eyes was deeply disturbing. She looked like she was about to kill him. She obviously didn't want to be disturbed, but Nick wasn't about to let this go unnoticed._

" _GET. OUT." she screamed at him. Nick did not move an inch. He knew that his friend would not hurt him. He knew that she was just upset about something, and he needed to find out so that he could help her._

" _No, Mali. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on. You've been hiding for far too long. Please, let me help you." Nick said. He remained calm and collected, a stark contrast to the vixen before him. But it seemed that Nick had said the right things. Her face went from anger to one of regret for yelling at Nick the way she had. She broke down and sprawled out onto the floor. Nick got up and helped her off the floor and standing. She resisted at first, but she eventually put in the effort to get seated at a desk._

 _Nick pulled a chair up to the desk that Mali was seated in and he held her paws in his. They were wet with tears and her cheeks were just as damp. Nick waited several moments for Mali to calm down before he asked her to speak. She wiped her tears away and looked into Nick's caring eyes. She couldn't help but crack a little smile seeing her friend right in front of her._

" _That's what I've been waiting to see," Nick said with a grin. That smile, it was a sight that never got old for Nick. She always had the warmest, most beautiful smile in the world. "What's going on, Mali? I need to know." Nick said. Mali sniffed a few times before beginning her explanation._

" _I feel so ashamed, Nick. I don't know what to do. I just feel dirty and…" Mali was unable to finish her sentence. She couldn't stop crying. Nick pulled her into a hug and she melted into his form._

" _That's it. Let it out. I'm here for you." Nick said while gently patting her on the back, doing his best to comfort his afflicted friend. After a few moments, Mali collected herself enough to continue. Nick released her from the hug and once again held her paws. "Can you tell me why you feel this way?" he said. Mali gave Nick a nod._

" _It was the beginning of freshman year. I didn't know anybody, and I hadn't met you yet. You know that my father is a terrible fox, and he always has been. It was late one night and I was just getting ready to go to sleep when he burst into by room. I immediately could tell that he was plastered to no end by the smell of alcohol coming off of him." Mali took another moment to pause and collect her thoughts. She saw Nick listening to her, never releasing his gaze from her wonderful blue eyes, unfortunately so filled with anger and pain._

" _He didn't even say anything, he just grabbed me and… he raped me!" she said. Mali fell into Nick and he once again wrapped her in a caring hug. Now he was feeling angry at what he had just found out. All this time, she'd kept that to herself, and it was finally getting to her too much. Nick released her and his paws instantly shot up to his face in disbelief_

" _Oh, my…" was all Nick was able to get out._

" _And that's not all. I didn't think it was possible, that being my technical "first time," but he ended up getting me pregnant. Obviously, I was scared, and he definitely wasn't going to deal with caring for another child; he could barely even care for me. So what does the scumbag go and do? He repeatedly punched me in the stomach and even threw me down a flight of stairs! He killed the child that was growing inside of me! I was prepared to take care of that child, even if it was the product of a terrible crime. You know how pro-life I am, but he had the nerve to do that to me!" Mali was no longer weeping, but she still had tears running down her cheeks. She was angry. She had recounted the most terrible experience of her life, and she hated it but knew that it was good to get it out._

 _Nick was at a complete loss for words. He knew that she had a rough family life and that her father was a terrible mammal, but he never thought he was capable of doing something so malicious. Nick was so filled with anger and hatred toward that fox that he started crying as well._

 _He didn't know what to do. He'd never been in a situation like this before, and he could only hope that he had a way to help her._

" _I never told anyone because I thought they wouldn't believe me, or that they would shun me for what ended up happening."_

" _You should have told me, Mali. There is no reason to hide something like that. I know it's probably too late, but if you need anything, just ask me and I'll do my best to help. I'm sure Mom will be more than happy to get you anything you need." Nick said. Mali looked deeply into Nick's green eyes and smiled._

" _Thank you, Nick. I do actually have something that I need to ask you," she said._

" _What's that?"_

" _I need a place to live until I leave for university in the fall. I know that graduation is a few weeks away, but I'm kinda out a place to live right now." Nick looked at Mali in confusion._

" _Why?"_

" _Well, it turns out that my dad was just caught with lots and lots of drugs for the second time. I won't be seeing him for a while, actually, more like twenty or so years." Mali cracked a devious smile. It was a nice change for Nick's eyes to see her smile._

" _We've got an extra room at the house for you. I know Mom will be very happy to have you stay with us."_

* * *

Nick smiled at the recollection. He remembered being so happy that she was finally free from the thing that had been eating her from the inside out. She had even improved a lot over the next few weeks, and he was glad that he and Mom were able to help her out when she really needed it. Nick finally let the first few tears roll down his cheeks. His fond memories of Mali were some of the best times of his life, and he was glad that he'd been given the opportunity to really get to know her. But he still longed to speak to her one last time.

"Doing alright?" a voice said from behind Nick. He looked up and turned around, wiping the tears from his eyes. It was Judy. She slowly approached him from behind, concern evident in her beautiful violet eyes. She wanted him to know that he didn't need to hide his feelings anymore. He had done that so much in the past, but it was time to break that habit. Nick couldn't speak, but he gave Judy a nod just as he let his dam break.

Judy ran to Nick as he sat on the porch and covered his eyes as he cried. She stood by him and comforted the poor fox. She had never seen Nick in so much pain before, and it was making her start to cry as well. Her tears rolled down her cheeks and onto Nick's shoulder as she held him. Nick uncovered his eyes and looked down at the wood of the porch.

"I can't believe sh… she's really gone." Nick sobbed. Judy felt his pain with each word he spoke. This was something that she hadn't experienced before, so she had no idea of the pain that accompanied a loss of such a caliber. She did know that the only way to comfort someone dealing with loss was to make them feel like the weren't alone. She was not going to leave his side until he was smiling again.

"I know, Nick. It's hard to take, and it was such bad timing since we're out here and not in the city, but I can tell you that everything is going to turn out in the end." Judy said. Nick turned to face Judy. She very nearly collapsed when she saw his expression of anger and sadness.

"I'm just so angry. I know that this sounds terrible, but she was so selfish to do something like that. She left all of her family and friends that cared for her so much to figure out how to live life without her. I just don't understand why she thought it would make things better." Nick said, shaking his head. Judy could tell that he was very distressed at the moment. She wasn't sure if it was good for him to be talking about it so much.

"Nick, do you want to talk about it now? Because if not I can leave you here for a little longer and then we can talk later. I don't want to put any pressure on you." Judy said.

"No, I want to. I'm not going to bottle anything up. I can't do that to myself, and it's what Mali would have told me to do. Just let it out." Nick said with a dejected sigh and a few more tears.

"Well, did she have any issues that would have caused her to feel like she had no way out?" Judy asked, still wondering if Nick was really alright with opening up so much.

"Her mom died when she was young but old enough for it to really affect her. Her dad did some terrible things to her and I know that she battled depression a lot during and after high-school, but you would have never thought it was that bad. She just always seemed so happy." Nick said. Judy got in front of Nick so that she could look him straight in the eyes, holding one of his paws in hers.

"For what it's worth, Nick. You are strong. You are going to get through this. Nothing will get you down, and nothing is going to get in your way of making things better." Judy said. Nick couldn't help but smile at Judy's kind words. There was something almost scary about how familiar they felt to him. He wiped away the tears from his eyes with his free paw.

"Christ, now you sound just like her. It's amazing how similar you two are, really. I wish you could have met her. I know you would have liked her a lot. She's kinda responsible for all of the good qualities that I have." Nick said.

"Like what? I doubt she gave you your devilish good looks." Judy joked. Nick let out a hefty chuckle, which was music to Judy's ears. He was already starting to feel better.

"No, Mom always says that Dad gave me the looks." Nick chuckled. "Mali showed me how to care for others. I lost contact with her after high-school, and then I lost my way for a while, and I thought I forgot how. I see a bit of her in you, Judy, because you showed me how to care again. You showed me the good in others, and in myself." Nick said. Judy gave Nick a curious look.

"When were you able to come up with lines like that?"

"Oh, I didn't. Mali said something like that a long time ago." Nick said. Judy gave Nick a warm smile.

"It sounds to me like you're going to have to tell me more about this vixen. She seemed like a wonderful mammal." Judy said.

For the first time in awhile that night, Nick smiled while actually feeling happy, and it was a relief to finally feel warm inside.

"I'd be happy to, Judy. Words will never do her justice, though. Only memories will bring about the joy that she put upon the world."

* * *

 **A/N: Please, if you are considering suicide, think about all the people you are going to leave behind. You are going to make their lives so much worse, all because you would no longer be there. Trust me when I say that your issues can be fixed. I nearly made the mistake of taking my own life a few years back, but I remembered that I had family and friends who cared about me.**

 **And don't think that you're all alone because you're not. There is always someone who cares about you, and there is always someone who can help you. Think about how they would feel if you were gone forever. Think about how they would feel, wondering if it was something that they did that caused you to take your own life.**

 **Now I'll step down from my soap box. I have said all that I wanted to say now.**

 **-Ande**


End file.
